My Write up in Onion Uttapam

Nobel from Hell

 

In Between the Lines

“Do you have any idea when it will end” she asked

“No but I know it is around the corner” he said

A hearty chuckle and then silence.

“Strange na! That you have to go thru this shit”

“Hmmm I was about to tell you the same”

A hearty chuckle and then silence

“I never realized things would go out of hand”

“Well come to think it was never in our hands”

A hearty chuckle and then silence

“I am sorry but I think you are not allowed to stay here anymore” said a voice

“Its okay, we were about to finish” said he

“Okay better be quick or else I will have to muscle you out”

The door closed shut and it again just him and her

“You know what, I feel sick”

“Just stay calm, this aint gonna be that tough”

A hearty chuckle and then silence

“What will you miss the most man”

“Donno, I have started the loss assessment survey for this venture”

A hearty chuckle and then silence

“Hey you better cos I think I am having enough of this venture”

“Oh come on! Don’t give me the creeps”

A phone rings.

“Hi man! How ya doing” said he

“Yeah she is fine besides she is asking me to contact a loss surveryor. You interested?”

A hearty chuckle and then silence

A few more lines, a few more chuckles and then the phone call ends.

“Hey man can chance that you get me some fries and a burger. The food here sucks”

“Lemme see what I can. Do go anywhere folks”

The door close again and this time it is all her and herself.

“I would like large fires and a grilled chicken burger with extra cheese”

“That will be 85 sir”

A swap of cash for a bill and food bag. He returns

The door opens. He hold his food bag with great pride

A hearty chuckle and then silence

“Thanks but can keep it man”

“Why do you say that, I hate extra cheese with out a beer”

A long beep on the ECG and then silence.

 

WORDS THAT SHALL NOT BE

Well every now and then one has to go through this phase of confusion, a phase that just causes all sorts of problems in the thought process. Then there is this phase called learning, where the thought process absorbs information. These are the most common sort of phases of the thought process that I know of but yet I just love one particular sort of phase, I call it Creativity. Oh I just love it!! And the best part of this phase is that it merges with confusion and learning to give the ultimate thrill called utter genius or at times utter madness (I prefer the latter). Anyways, here is an after effect of one of those utters madness phases I had, I call this WORDS THAT SHALL NOT BE:

“Where were these fellows when I needed them” The Late Adolf Hitler comments on seeing the new age World War II video games that depict superhuman Nazi soldiers and mercenaries

“Had I known that Vijay Mallaya is going to born in India, I would easily accepted Ahimsa and masterminded a perfect Indian War of Independence and happily retire in 1955” Charles Wilson comments on the growth and flourish of UB group chairman.

“Come to think of it nothing has changed much, I mean it is an amazing invention – but who would ever want to use one, with the a rising number of deaths associated with using it” The late US President Rutherford B. Hayes on seeing the rise in deaths and accidents caused due to mobile phone usage.

“This thing is good, it is God sent, it is just the perfect remedy to reduce my stress” Osama Bin Laden on achieving an unbeaten streak as the Terrorists team in Counter Strike

“Now I realize what these science geeks mean by the phrase ‘Every action has an equal and opposite reaction’” A comment passed on Maradona’s recent achievements as the coach of Argentinan soccer team.

 

The War of Toffees

“You know what?” said Little Museem

“What?” asked Sweetu

“I think I am in love” said Little Museem.

It is was quiet a line to come from a 7 year old nicker clad kid who is yet to know that there is world beyond the Superheroes and his Chaadi Kingdom.

“Oh! Wow! How did you know that Museem?” asked Sweetu. This is one girl, who even after having an intelligence better the normal 7 year old of her neighborhood, believes and accepts all that Little Museem blurt out.

“I don’t know Sweetu but all I know is that I get this feeling when I am with mother and you” said Museem very innocently

It is not clear whether Little Museem was anticipating a reply from Sweetu or had Sweetu not heard his last line for there was a long silence between them. It was only broken by the crumbling sound of a chocolate wrapper popped from a pocket.

“Oh! You have a toffee”

“No! it is just the cover of the toffee I ate in the morning”

“You are lying because you do not want to share it with me”

“No! It is not so I always make my toffee half-half with you”

“Liar! you did not make the big Kit Kat half-half with me in Domo’s birthday”

“That was my Kit Kat only and you also did not give the Twix you took from Domo’s birthday”

“I did not take Twix from there!!”

“Yes! You did! u stealer cock”

“I am not a stealer cock. You are a big fat liar”

WHACK!!

Silence and then a cry.

The hand did ache after that hit and the face was more than just red. The conversation ended. The cry of pain and the ache on the palm was still very evident even long after the two went their respective ways that day.

“Museem! What happened? Why are you starting at your food like that” asked Little Museem’s mother.

“Nothing Umma, I am not feeling good” said Little Museem

“Now you better eat and go to bed before your father returns back from office. I am sure he is having a bad time in office and with you not finished eating even after 9pm, he will surely thrash you”

Little Museem ate all that was on his plate. No it was the fear of his dad that made him eat, it was just that he wanted to get to bed at the earliest so that he can forget what happened between him and Sweetu.

“Now’s that’s strange, I was sure he was going to make a fuss about his chappati and then fight for his right of staying up late night during vacations. I wonder what happened?” thought his mother as she washed the dishes.

She did not give it much thought for her husband was at the door and she totally forgot about Little Museem, who was by now in his bed, for Little Museem’s father looked really tired and in need of his wife’s warmth.

“Sweetu, don’t you want more of your favorite cauliflower curry?” asked Sweetu’s mother.

“No, mama I do not want anymore. Can I have my milk now?” asked a rather low voiced Sweetu.

Sweetu just ate all that was on her plate. No she did not eat anything with her weekly pocket money. It was just that she wanted to get to bed at the earliest so that she can forget what happened between her and Museem.

Little Museem cried that night for what had happened between him and Sweetu.

Sweetu cried that night for what had happened between her and Museem

A day went by with Museem just sitting at home, watching TV or sitting on his bed. Sweetu helped her mother clean the house and then spent the rest of the day loitering in the house. Their rather subdued and silenced approach the whole day surprised their mothers.

“I wonder what is wrong with this kid, it is vacations and the kid wants to be at home itself!” thought the mothers

It was inevitable to be away from each other the whole vacation. Little Museem needs help in his Hindi holiday homework while Sweetu just could not imagine a vacation without Little Museem’s chocolate and “sharing his pocket money” offerings for her Hindi help.

2 days went by, the two of them kept themselves indoor for the fear that they might see each other when they go out to the park. The curiosity got the better of their mothers and so on the third day…

“What is bothering you dear?” asked the mothers

The silence between the two had taken toll on them.

“Mama! I fought badly with Sweetu” cried out Little Museem

“Mama! I fought badly with Museem” cried out Sweetu

Fighting back tears and sobs, the two told their mothers the incident.

“Now! Museem, that is okay, you should always remember that one should not get angry nor one should call people unwanted names. Now just go to Sweetu’s house and say that you want to be friends again and that you are sorry”

“No! she will be angry with me” replied Little Museem

“No! Son, I will call and tell her mother what happened and I am sure she will understand. Now you go take a bath and then get ready to go to her house”

Little Museem went to his room to take a bath while his mother dialed Sweetu’s home number.

Little Sweetu wept has she said narrated the incident between her and Little Museem. Her mother consoled the little one and said “Sweetu, it is not good to call your friends with unwanted names and people should never get angry with their friends. Forget what all has happened and go to talk to him. I am sure he will be worried about his Hindi Homework.”

“No! I wont go to him, he will be really angry with me” said Sweetu.

“No, you don’t worry about that dear, I will tell Museem’s mother what happened. She will help you talk to him. Now let us go and buy some grocery and when we are returning we will go to Museem’s House. OK?”

“Okay mother”

“Good, now go take a bath and then we will go out.”

“I guess they have all gone to their hometown” thought Museem’s mother as the phone in Sweetu’s house went unanswered.

“Museem!! Have you finished bathing?”

“No mother. I will finish now”

“Okay be fast”

Museem’s mother went to the kitchen to check on the lunch.

Little Museem was putting on his shirt when he heard the door bell ring. Museem’s mother opened the door.

“Hello, I thought you all went to your hometown”

“Oh, no! What made you think like that?”

“Well I have been trying your phone for the past 1 hour.”

“Oh! Me and Little Miss Frown Face went for an outing”

“Ah! My Little Mister frown face will just be back after his bath”

The mother’s laughed. While Sweetu just put her head down.

“He told me about the incident about an hour ago and I have been trying to call you ever since”

“Ha ha ha! What I coincidence, Sweetu told me today morning and I thought I would take her out for a while to change her mood and then drop to meet you to ‘make truce among the warring parties’”

The mother’s laughed while Museem was just coming out of his room all ready to confront Sweetu at her house. He was planning his confrontation as he came out of his room but all the plans dissolved when saw Sweetu and her mother in his house.

“Museem! Look here, Sweetu and her Mother has come. I guess there is someone wants to say something to you” said Museem’s mother

“Ah! Yes Sweetu, I guess it is time you two made up for that fight” said Sweetu’s mother.

“I am sorry, I will never do anything like this again” said Museem, with his head held low.

“I am also sorry, I will never be bad to you again” said Sweetu.

“Will you stop staring on the floor and look face to face!!” said Sweetu’s mother.

Little Museem hesitated but then slowly raised his head to catch a glimpse of the blush that had run across Sweetu’s cheeks. The she raised her head.  They were now face to face.

“Friends again”

“Yes”

Their smile showed the amount of relief and happiness they had. Was it the relief of getting the Hindi homework done and getting the chocolate offerings? Or was it the happiness that their guilt had gone? I guess there are some actions in life that needs no explanation.

It was the end of winter of 1991. Spring was in the air. Little Museem and Sweetu were beginning to see something new.

 

Intricate Conclusions

Once they came forth with a declaration that all are one and none are differentiated. And then comes the foregone conclusion that blood spilling is a motto of prove this point. Weird isn’t it.

Once he came with an idea that love is to be gifted. And then comes the foregone conclusion that suspicion is to be implemented so that the gift is not is not wasted. Weird isn’t it.

Once she came forth with an oath that her legs spilt within the realms of trust. And then comes the foregone conclusion that freedom of expression is to set pace for this split. Weird isn’t it.

Once he came with a commitment that he shall indulge to the one whom he shall sacrifice to. And then comes the foregone conclusion that exploration is to give way to the ultimate path of sacrifice. Weird isn’t it.

Once they put forward the rule that shall not be broken for the sake of luxury. And then comes the foregone conclusion that bending a bit while give light to the problems caused in breaking the rule. Weird isn’t it

Once she realized that a mother’s yearn is for her blood child and his/her future. And then comes the foregone conclusion that knowing that it is HIS future that can give the ultimate satisfaction for the mother’s yearn. Weird isn’t it.

Once he said the land he lives is the canopy for his inferiors. And then comes the foregone conclusion that a currency depicts the extent of the canopy that he gives. Weird isn’t it.

Once they said that words are to be uttered with caution. And then comes the foregone conclusion that all that is to be said should not true. Weird isn’t it.

 

India: Freedom @ Darkness

My Mother completed 62 years today This is all i could find for Her from the ever so wily, addictive and double standardized world of Internet that is destroying the womb of Her’s which gave us all Freedom…..

Jana Gann Manaa Rann hai …is Rann meinn
Zakhmi hua haai Bhaarat ka Bhaagya Vidhaata
Punjab Sindh Guujrat Maratha
Ek doosre se laadd ke mar rahein hain
Is desh ne humkoo ek kiya
Hum desh ke tukdeey kar rahein hain
Dravid Utkal Bangaa
Khoon bahaa ker, eek rang ka kar diya humne tiranga
Sarhadon pe jung auur
Galiyon mein fasaaad danga
Vindh Himachal Yamunaa Ganga
Mein tezaab ubal rahaa hai
Mar gaya sab ka zameeer
Jaane kab zinda ho aagaey
Phir bhi Tava shubh naamee jaage
Tava shubh aashish maangee
Aag mein jal kar cheekh raaha hai
Phir bhi koi nahi sach ko baachaata
Gaahe tava jaya gaathaa
Desh ka aisa haal hai leekin
Aapas mein ladd rahein Neeta
Jana Gann Mangal daayak jaaya hai
Bhaarat ko bacha le Vidhaaata!!!
Jaya hai – Ya yeh – Maraann hai
Jana – Gann – Mana – Raann hai

JAI HIND!!!
SPECIAL THANKS & SALUTE TO

• RVG
• Sheetal Vinod Talwar, Madhu Mantena
• Big B, Ritesh, Paresh Rawal, Mohnish Behl
• Mohile, Bapi, Tutul, Sanjeev Kohli, Jayesh Gandhi
• Prashant Pandey, Sarim Momin
• YOU TUBE

Ironically i am also an Indian……

 

SPORADIC FCUK

Darkness ENGULFS all intense thinkers but then why the fcuk did The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind go mindless

Brevity is the SOUL of wit but then why the fcuk is Beckham still playing for LA Galaxy

Insomnia leads to VOLATILE mood swings but then why the fcuk is Ben Stiller the main anchor in Night at the Museum

Pornography is VILE to the human mind but then why the fcuk did S.Ganguly do a gig at the Lord’s balcony

Intelligence IS TO BE honoured but then why the fcuk is GWB referred as a World Leader

Pressure BRINGS THE OUT THE best but then why the fcuk is Ban Ki Moon still signing UN documents

Every dog has A DAY but then why the fcuk is Bruce Wayne still the Batman

Lunatic are to be ISOLATED but then why the fcuk am I given access to communicate to the world

 

Deja Vu

I had a sense of Déjà vu as the following lines played in mind for the past few weeks for I am sure I had encountered these lines before but yet I find no time to think of their earlier existence instead I bring to you all to define the state of Déjà vu that I am in.

Tempt me to Doom
Coo me to Vileness
Lure me to Sin
For I am the Corrupt

Encourage me to Faith
Invite me to Trust
Welcome me to Righteous
For I am the Believer

Toss me into Ecstasy
Bloat me into Ignorance
Enthrall me into Folly
For I am the Imprudent

Rejuvenate me into Freshness
Undress me into Innocence
Enlighten me into Wisdom
For I am the Learned

Emotions will Flare
Soul will Crave
Thoughts will Wander
For I am the Mortal

What is that I Influence?
What is that I Pray?
What is that I Careless?
What is that I Breath?

 

Shh………

Ever heard the Pulse of Silence? This has been a query that has been teasing my thoughts for a while.

SILENCE is defined as the state of being silent (failing to speak or communicate). Sometimes it is also defined as having a frequency below or above the range of human audibility.

I guess the second definition is more prominent for in me even in a vacuum for all the communication I do is below human audibility. It is the sound of the soul, the eternal masterpiece that is rarely understood or discovered when one goes audible.

Day in and day out I search for this silence, but then a chatter box and non-stop jargon blabber like me is not eligible for silence. Well, it is not true all the time, I do find silence (No it is not when I am 8 shots down), I find it when I wrestle within and finally tire myself to the extent of emptiness. I find myself enclosed in a shell that whispers the inaudibility of sound. The sound that resonates within my flesh and bone, the sound that originates from a realm beyond the flesh and bone. It takes me not to places but instead brings them all to me, I travel without being moved, I read with a blanket of darkness around. Slowly, each step I travel, each word I read enrich the inaudibility and I reach a world which is less traveled and less read about. It has no end nor does it have a beginning for I enter in between and leave before it can end.

Slowly I am engulfed in a world that showcases the so called pro and cons of my deeds and words. I find myself in a familiar but yet so unknown territory. Here neither am I God nor is there a God, it is all open. The world revolves amidst the silence, yet I hear voices, I get sensations. I talk, I speak, I walk, I fall but none that is too deafening or too fast.

I try to gather all that I can amass in that world before I am inevitability taken away from it. I try to take the snapshots of emotions that entice love, anger, trust, hate et al. I try to take glimpse of deeds that enact bonding, sacrifice, fury et al. I try to analyse the phases that induced actions, reactions, response et al. Alas! My gathering broke the silence, I broke the rule of inaudibility and soon I am no more in that world. I find myself amidst the voices that keep me adrift of silence.

I wonder, is this world of silence a part of me, if so why is that I cannot bring it out or is this world of silence a mystical realm that brings and expels me at its mercy? This curiosity in me yearns for the world that is guarded by the realms of silence. I try finding it within the shades of love, I search for in the calmness of thought but nay! I am all but successful. I guess it is a phenomenon that occurs when all is right and all is balanced. I guess it is just like my friend experienced more than once, the magic of Silence, as she sat near the window sill awaiting sunset while her eyes gazed beyond the horizon with him sitting in his chair while his mind wander. She said it was silence complete silence as they chased their demons and caressed their souls.

Then I hear someone say Silence is the trait of keeping things secret but then is it not that Secrecy is another realm that has silence in its most vicious form?

 

The Womb

Words seem to fade away

Memories seem a blur

As I await your return

Not a tear I shed

Not an emotion I vent

For I believe in a second meeting

Many a sunrise I see

Many a night star I count

As I waltz thru the alleys of emptiness

Uncountable minutes pass by

Unimaginable minutes fly by

A shroud of loss is all that appears

None too painful to bear

None too eventful to recollect

For I have lost none

A sense of belonging prevails

A warmth of intimacy evokes

I wander while I await

Oh! Where have I sinned?

Oh! Where have thy faulted?

For us to be separated

Words seem to fade away

Memories seem a blur

As I await your return

Dedicated to the mothers of the 26/11 victims (Mumbai)